Shaohannah’s Hope : How To Adopt

Adoption tools for building bridges of hope by linking willing families with wanting children

The True Story

FactsEach year, approximately 120,000 Americans choose to become parents or expand their families through adoption, and there are millions more who have considered adoption. The calling to adopt and the path that families take in this journey is personal to each. Last year, approximately 60,000 Americans chose to adopt from the U.S. foster care system, and an even larger, yet unknown, number choose to care for kin; more than 22,000 Americans chose to travel overseas to adopt from such countries as China, Russia, Guatemala, South Korea, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, India and the like; and still another 50,000 or more others have chosen private domestic adoption right here in the United States. For statistics on foster care and foster adoptions visit the Children’s Defense Fund.

Myths vs. Reality

According to a recent national study, 81.5+ million people have considered building their family through adoption. Sadly, for the vast majority of these people, the journey ends with the many myths of adoptions they have heard. Because most never get past the myths of adoption, they never experience the miracle of adoption. For most of us, the only information we ever had about adoption has been mostly myth. These myths need to be dispelled. So, we present here some of the myths of adoption-and the true and wonderful realities that counter those myths for those who want to dig deeper and know the truth:

Myth	Reality
There are no babies being placed for adoption in the U.S.	20,000 or more U.S.-based infants are placed for adoption each year.
Adoptive parents must wait five years or more for a baby.	The average wait in a domestic adoption is less than two years. This reduction in time is largely due to the laws mentioned in the previous section.
Adopting parents pay extortionate amounts — tens and tens of thousands of dollars.	Costs of private domestic adoptions average $15,000 and public adoptions from the foster care system have very little cost associated with them. After the Adoption Tax Credit, the cost is comparable to that of giving birth in a hospital. There is a federal adoption tax credit, which is currently up to $10,000 of qualified adoption expenses for international adoptions and is a flat credit for special needs domestic adoptions. For more on the adoption tax credit and foundations which provide adoption grants see the highlights section.
Birth-parents can arrive at any time to reclaim their child.	Once an adoption is finalized, the adoptive family is recognized as the child’s family by law.
Birth-mothers are all troubled teens.	Most birth-mothers today are older than 18. In most cases, it’s lack of support and/or resources that causes them to place their children for adoption.
Children in foster care have too much “baggage.”	Children in state care have most likely experienced some sort of trauma in their lives and for various reasons, often neglect or abuse, have been placed in foster care. However, by educating yourself and preparing for your child’s needs before completing the adoption, you will be more prepared to face any challenges that may come up. Children in foster care, just like any children, have enormous potential to thrive when given love, patience and a stable environment. Just ask U.S. Senator Ben “Nighthorse” Campbell, Minnesota Viking Dante Culpepper, Washington, D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams, or Miss USA 2000 Lynnette Cole. They were all once foster children who were adopted by caring adults.
All children in foster care have some kind of physical, mental or emotional handicap; that’s why they are classified as “special needs.”	The term “special needs” is somewhat misleading, because it can mean that the child is older, a minority, or requires placement with his/her siblings — in other words, a child who has a “special need” for a family! While some children are dealing with physical or emotional concerns, just like other children, they need the nurturing and support that a permanent family can provide. Many foster children are in the “system” because their birth parents weren’t protective and nurturing caretakers, not because the children did anything wrong.
Adoptive parents must be married and without children.	Anyone can adopt, including single people, couples without children, and families who already have children by birth or by prior adoption. However, many foreign countries and some private agencies have specific requirements as to the marital status, age, and number of children, or religion of people who adopt the children.
I am not sure I can love an adopted child the way I love a biological child.	Many prospective adoptive parents are influenced by this fear/myth. The truth that is testified to over and over again after adopting, is that you can and do love an adopted child just as much as a biological child. Love is not so much a matter of blood- line, as love-line. It is relationship.
Myths compiled from aspiranet.org, beliefnet.com, and adoptioninformation.com.