Different responses to adoption Month

or something.

In the UK this week is National Adoption Week and in America there’s a whole month of it

And pretty much all of it is aimed at prospective adoptive parents about how rewarding adoption is, how it gives unwanted children a chance, blah, blah, blah

and a lot of adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents are talking about it and even first mothers

I celebrate and promote everything adoption related just because I love the act of adoption in general and what it represents.

Adoption truly is a blessing in so many lives!

Adoption is a wonderful thing.

but something conspicuously absent is adoptees voices or feelings in this

well for some of us adoption isn’t a wonderfull thing to be celebrated or encouraged, lots of adoptees do not see adoption as a good thing, as something to be happy about. Its painful, confusing, identity annihilating. we were not something to provide adults with a sense of purpose. We were not something to be “saved” (and then more often than not be forced to be “grateful” about being “saved) And we do talk about this. There are lots of us blogging about our lives, our experinces, but we dont get listened to, we get dismissed by prospective adoptive parents, by adoptive parents, by agencies and by people who have nothing to do with adoption because the societies we live in are so invested in the lie that adoption is a win/win/win situation for everybody involved when usualy two of the three parts of that triangle loose something irreplaceable.

And I’m not just talking about adoptees who had abusive or bad adoptive parents, while we do exist and our voices are important, there are many adoptees whose adoptive parents were good people. but that doesn’t negate the adoptees sense of greif and loss

For some of us this should be a time for grieving not celebrating.

and because it is important to me that the voice of adoptees get heard this week/ month I’m linking to a couple of posts by other adoptees

Peaches Post the Living Doll Talks about her personal experience of how being an adoptee can feel

and Possums post Bitter, Angry and Ungrateful Adoptee writes about how important it is that adoptive parents and prospective adoptive parents listen to us so the next generation of adoptees are better understood than wee were