I think a lot of agencies ay scare you a bit too much with horror stories and tell you not to “get your hopes up until the date that paper is signed.” And this is good advice, it’s smart to protect the couples feelings if that should happen…but they should also stress that a little trust in the birth mother is a big assurance to her that she made the right decision. It’s just like to say that this subject came up a lot when I was a resident at a local adoption agenc dorm. When you are pregnant…you already are scared and your decisions over some things may make people wonder…(example pickles and cottage cheese might sounding good) but for the most part the decision to place a child for adoption is not gone into lightly. Out of all the pregnant girls “living at the dorm” I believe only three of 28 backed out of the adoption after the baby was born. I saw way too many tense adoptive parents for these statistics….everyone was on pins and needles until the papers were signed. So, Im just saying it’s ok to design the baby room a bit before you know the final decision. As a birth mother, I know this assures us too that you not only trust us when we tell you yes, but shows us how well prepared you are and excited. I think when birth moms live together it is easier and more supportive environment. I cannot speak for those that didn’t live in a dorm setting and get daily counseling.
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