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mygif
Becki Said,
September 4th, 2008 @9:50 am  

I don’t know why more women don’t consider adoption as a choice, but I have my theories. For one thing, placing a child for adoption means carrying the pregnancy to term, and, in general, family, friends, and community finding out about it. Then there is the potential of questions when the pregnancy is over, but the birth mother doesn’t have a baby with her. Abortion allows a woman to pretend, at least to others, that the pregnancy didn’t happen. For some women, I think they really are fine with having had an abortion, and my job is not to judge them. But I think others are haunted by it.

In general, it takes an exceptional mother to put her child’s well being before her own image, reputation, and convenience. Again, I’m not trying to judge anyone else, but there’s no getting around the fact that birth mothers are selfless. (And, full disclosure, I am not adopted, a birth mother, nor have I adopted a child. This is just my opinion!)

mygif
Girl Said,
September 4th, 2008 @1:13 pm  

Thank you Becki for your comment!

mygif
Cassi Said,
September 5th, 2008 @3:49 pm  

I wonder how many mothers you have talked to who have lost their children to adoption to form your opinion that promoting more adoptions would lower the abortion rate. I ask this because it just is not true. A VERY SMALL minority of women choose between abortion and adoption. Most all women choose between adoption and parenting.
And I do have to question why you would want to encourage the lifelong trauma and grief of adoption on anyone. There are so many studies now that show how harmful adoption is on the moms who lose their chidlren and the children who are separated from their family. Why, with all the pain that is now coming out about this act would you want to encourage another to go through this?
Also, I think with more research you would find many, many teenage moms who have been wonderful parents to their children, regardless of how old they might have been.
This young woman has the support of her family and is choosing to love and nurture her child - why would you want to take that away from her or her child?

mygif
September 6th, 2008 @8:41 am  

One can only consider abortion for a very limited time. Often women do not know - or believe/accept - that they are pregnant until it is too late to be an option. Yes, there is the factor of carrying a child for nine months - and people knowing….and then people JUDGING you as “Why would you give away your own flesh and blood?”

And, indeed why would anyone? Why SHOULD anyone? There are already half a million children in foster care - of those more than 100,000 cannot be returned to their fmailies. So why should anyone add yet another fauz orphan??

Parenting at any age is tough! But the rewards are amazing. Loosing a child to adoption incurs (documented) LIFELONG, unconsolable grielf, anguish, pain and gult and subjects a child to alife of feeling rejected and abandoned. Precious few state enforce “open adoption” contact agreements. Open adoption more often menas receiving letters - maybe photos. It is NOT being a non-custodial parent because every adoption begins with a TERMINATION of ALL parental rights! You are left with no leg to stand on when such agreements are not upheld….which is VERY OFTEN.

And even if they are, you have the pain of seeing your child but not being able to make decsions! And the child…how does he compute that you have the wherewithall to visit, but not to raise hm! That school or career were more important to you than she is?

Adoption - as per the UN - should be LAST RESORT after exhausting all efforts for a child to remain with his family. I never watch The View, but these ladies got it right. The Palin grandchild has FAMILY. He has a mother a father, grandparents, aunts and uncles. WHY SHOULD HE BE MADE INTO ORPHAN??? WHY? Because people want babies? Because there’s an industy making $6.3 billion a year in redistrubuting children worldwid - trafficking in human flesh?

Increasing adoption does not reduce abortion. The two are separate issues. One is a reproductive rights issue - the other involves a fully independent human being. Adoption can never take place until AFTER a child is BORN…and should not take place until a mother had a chance to hold her child and until all extended family are contacted to help and other options and resources are offered.

The question I often find myself asking is the reverse of yours: Why do too many conversations about teen pregnancy seem to give young women a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea: abortion or adoption. Too often I hear or read these discussions and the concept of parenting is omitted!

I am not a republican, but am very glad that the Palins did not even consider that route! Protecting life - being a good pro-lifer - does not have to include promoting adoption!

To care for mothers and their babies - together - whenever humanly possibly. To help them remain together - not tear the apart! THAT is what God wants us to do to be better people! Too many get hung up in their pro-life issues and want to destroy a fmaily in order to ’save’ a child! Nonsense! NOT WJWD. Jesus told us to care for widows (which meant any unmarried woman) and chidlren…not tear them apart and make them suffer the lifelong pain of separation!! WHY? TO “punish” their sins? It was done that way in decades gone by…society judged “unwed” mothers and unfit mothers and their parents hid them away out of shame.

Thank Goodness we have evolved from that - and slavery and witch burning!
Now we all have to change out thinking about adoption being a wonderful win-win solution. IT IS NOT!! It is and should always be a very last resort. It does not by any means guarantee a “better life” - it trades off family connectivity - sometimes…maybe even often - for more material possessions. Is that in Jesus’ teachings???

Mirah Riben, Vice President of Communications, Origins-USA.org, advocating or mothers’ rights and keeping natural fmailies together

author, “The Stork Market: America’s Multi-Billion Dollar Unregulated Adoption Industry”
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